You Are Who You Follow

Who do you choose to follow? The virtuous leader who holds temperance, honesty, courage and wisdom above all else? Or someone else; something less?

MINDFULNESS IS ALL ABOUT LEADERSHIP

Someone speculated recently that this whole mindfulness thing I keep harping on about – this search for stillness, makes me sound like a hippy. They’d prefer, they said, a little more content on topics like ‘teamwork’ and ‘leadership’. So, as much as I love the image of myself as a free-spirited flower child (cue laughter from most people I know), I must not be doing a good enough job of getting my message across: for me mindfulness is all about leadership.

“Watch the stars in their courses and imagine yourself running alongside them. Think constantly on the changes of the elements into each other, for such thoughts wash away the dust of earthly life” - Marcus Aurelius

Any gardeners reading this will be familiar with the truism that you need good soil in order to raise healthy plants. Leadership is somewhat the same I think – some amount of good self-leadership will help you recognise the qualities worth following in others; to know that the leaders you choose can help you move in the right direction. Mindfulness in essence is exactly that – a leadership of the self; a practice to help you judge the virtue of your actions; a toolkit to help you upright when you have fallen. Just like the gardener, we are daily thrusting our fingers into the soil, and the dirt and dust clings to us as tightly as we cling to the trappings of modern life. Mindfulness can wash away the day’s grime, freshening you up for the next challenge. 

OUTCOME INDEPENDENCE - DO YOUR BEST, LEAVE THE REST

As a daily practice it can give you confidence in yourself; to trust your own actions and reactions; willing to accept that who you are right now, what you have now in life, is enough. This shouldn’t hold you back or prevent you from achieving goals. Instead it should set you free: understanding that there is value in working hard, with purpose, to achieve something – but that the outcome, once you have given your best efforts, is not what really matters (it just is). That way you get the best of all worlds: you get to wake up every day, knowing that what you do has value and that you matter, without needing anything external to provide confirmation or to discourage you in its absence.

We live in a chaotic world, working in teams where often we may be asked to do the seemingly impossible, where pressure cultivates stress, in turn leaving us unable to perform at our best. Stillness is the antidote. It is the blessing of space in which to think and then act, to separate what has happened from how it you choose to perceive it. 

The Zen philosophy of mind suggests a pool of water. Life will throw stones our way and the ripples then spread out from each splash make it impossible to think clearly; our minds become so busy being busy that there is little space for anything productive. In stillness what we seek is an unbroken surface; to reach a state where even the heaviest rock sinks without a trace. Confession: I am not there yet. In fact, I am not even close. On my worst days the tiniest pebble creates terrible waves. However last year it was a spec of dust that left me the same; unable to see myself with clarity. Perhaps next year I’ll graduate to small rocks, perhaps not. I’ve learnt enough to realise that getting there doesn’t matter. What matters are my actions; that I do the right thing right now; that I do the work; to acknowledge I am enough.

BE KIND - START WITH YOURSELF

So finally, you may be asking, what is my point? I would say it is the importance of recognising this truth; that you are always enough. It isn’t always easy to accept. 

It’s often hard to be the people we want to be; to lead selflessly and be humble with it. Sometimes it seems impossible to even come close. There’s a mantra that we often hear and employ which is something like “Ok, I screwed up, I could’ve done better, I’ll cut myself a break and try harder next time”. However, while noble and engaging of responsibility, it doesn’t always help you break bad habits and avoid the same repetitive cycle. 

It may be because at that point you’ve already admitted to committing some crime. You’ve moved onto repentance and forgiveness, embracing your self-judgement as a way of drawing a line under today; making tomorrow possible to face. 

My encouragement for you today is this. Take a step back from any actions or reactions. Focus on being kind to yourself. Remind yourself today that you’re good, and kind, and loving, and that you have value. Make a list of your strengths, your kind deeds, your kind thoughts, the things you cherish. Smile at yourself and treat yourself as you would a good friend. Then start again.

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About the Author:

KYLE RICHARDSON

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